Public Disgrace

#252: Unacceptable Inability

This morning I went to my swimming class and attempted to do a decent freestyle.

Asians are not required to swim, really. Not when you spend most of your leisure time in shopping malls. Australians, on the other hand, seem to have swimming in their genes. They do not only have swimming as a natural talent, they actually have it programmed in their DNA. In between the G-T-A-C sequence the rest of humans have, Australians have an "S" for the Surely-I-Can-Swim-like-a-Sea-Creature Amino Acid. The point being: if you set foot in Australia, you better know how to swim. Because it is a public disgrace to drown.

For someone who passed her fourth grade swimming test in P.E. by faking proper breathing (that or my Phys ed teacher gave me a PASS to stop me as quickly as possible from making a fool of myself in the pool), this was a big step. Four weeks ago, I actually had to swallow any form of pride residing in my body (developed over 30 years of non-buoyancy) to start learning by blowing bubbles. After four weeks of torpedos and windmills and our instructor's voice ringing in my ears going "kick-kick-kick-kick-kick", I could say I might actually pass for someone who'd think swimming laps upon laps can actually be a non-traumatic exercise.

My instructor, after the 2nd week of lessons, told me that he thinks I have natural talent. (In art, yes. How did he know?) No, in swimming. He reckons I started too late and wasted what would've been a good swimming career - which then made my mind float to the golds that the Australian swimming team harvested during the recent Olympics. All that glory, missed. (Then again, I'm a Filipino citizen so I don't really count.) Last week, after he taught us the backstroke, he gave me this incredulous look, saying, that in his ten years of teaching adults how to swim, he's never encountered someone who can pick things up as quickly as I do. (Ah, if only I was like that with my Quantitative Methods class). Of course, I was wearing earplugs while he was telling me this. He could've been saying that in his ten years he has never seen anyone who can delude herself as quickly as I do. I wouldn't have known the difference.

Today, I bought a swim cap because my hair was getting in the way of proper breathing. If I'm going to be the next great hope for an Australian gold, I better start looking the part. I might even go for a swim again tomorrow. London Olympics, here I come.